Thursday, January 22, 2026
The eminent social psychologist, James Pennebaker in his book, Opening Up by Writing Down, writes that not fully expressing negative emotions, suffering in silence and keeping secrets—swallowing them or pushing them down—affects your heart, mind and body for the rest of your life. By hiding your fears, anger, and hurt from the world, you hide it from yourself.
In order to replace the mask of social “goodness” and “niceness” with authenticity you must first recognize the anger, the hurt or the fear buried deep inside you. The recognition must be followed by acceptance of your negative emotions. Some of us may require therapy or hypnosis to cleanse the system but most of us can do this by, as the title of the book suggests, “opening up and writing down.”
If you like, write a letter to the one who emotionally hurt you or pushed you to the limits, triggered your anger. You don’t have to mail the letter but just the writing of it fully and freely would do the work of expelling the feeling from your body and mind. This is the “magic” of journaling. It relieves the past suffering and keeps it at a distance from happening again. Petty thoughts and feelings surface no matter what you do. Journaling gets the most intimate feelings, which are neither petty nor useless, out of the way.
What about journaling about a past event that left you deeply hurt and you never got a chance to purge. Now is the time to write about it and free you from that uncomfortable feeling. Journaling makes you witness yourself, makes you conscious of what you did wrong and what you did right. It gives you an opportunity to mend yourself and come closer to your authentic self. The more you journal the more you value yourself and also reinforce your positive qualities.
Most importantly, you start caring for yourself. You may be generous, kind and caring to others but perhaps you do not extend the same caring to yourself. At such moments journaling comes to the rescue. It nudges you to listen to yourself gently and lovingly.
Donna Lucas
Good morning, Madhu! I wrote a letter to my mother today. It would have been her 92nd birthday. It was a love letter and felt so good to put words on the page to her.
I have written letters in which I was able to “rage on the page” and unburden my feelings without hurting anyone else’s.
Opening Up by Writing int Down sounds like a great book.
I hope you are doing well. I miss you!
Jenn Diamond
Hi, Madhu! Thank you for sharing this message. Journaling about being bullied as a child helps me write believable characters. AND it’s given me perspective on why they became a bully and helped me shower loving-kindness on them anytime my thoughts return to their mean words. Thank you!
Lorraine
All good advice. Thanks, Madhu.
Madhu B. Wangu
You’re welcome Lorraine!
Madhu B. Wangu
I wish I was there to protect you when you were bullied, Jenn!
However, impressed that by fictionalizing those goonies you’ve been able to work with your inner shadow. What is even more inspiring is your open-heartedness toward those meanies. Love you!
Madhu B. Wangu
Happy 92 birthday to your mom! Writing a love-filled letter to her was a beautiful gift to her and more importantly to yourself.
I like that expression “rage on the page.” That book brings the practice of journaling alive. It’s one of my favorites.
It’s always good to hear from you, Donna!